This subject is very close and important to me. After my graduate degree I spent a little over a year counseling both victims and perpetrators of Domestic Violence (DV) / Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) and here's what I learned:
Intimate Partner Violence is not about anger, it is about power and control.
There is no way for a victim to change the pattern of behavior of the abuser.
Abusers spend a great deal of time and effort systematically breaking down their victim, this is done with so much intention that victims often don't even realize they are being abused.
IPV is not always physically violent. Nearly half of all men and women in the US report that they've experienced psychological aggression by their intimate partner in their lifetime.
IPV impacts more than just women and children. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men 18 and older in the US have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
Never tell a victim to "Just leave" the relationship. Victims of IPV are in the most danger while ending the relationship.
IPV occurs in all relationship types, socioeconomic statuses, races, geographic locations, and demographics.